Saturday, December 24, 2011

Most Days Lately

It's Christmas Eve. The wrapping is almost finished, the house is almost ready. Never mind that the cookies weren't baked, there's plenty of time for that after Christmas.  The hustle and bustle of shopping and counting the number of gifts in each kids pile in the name of equality (ridiculous, I know), the wrapping and stashing, though we've become somewhat lacsidazical about this, the worry of having overbought with $$ we do not have, etc, etc, etc. Yes, we are reaching the home stretch, in the secular realm at least.

The true joy is just beginning. The celebration of Christ's birth. The manifestation of God as an infant child - yes, this is what it is all about. We all know it (I speak for Christians), yet we go about the gift buying frenzy and making sure everything is just right, anyway.  I'm not going to lie. I LOVE to shop!  I love to buy for other people, I love to think of each person on my list as I ponder each gift and then decide on the final purchase. I feel guilty when I cheat and grab something from the back of my closet, which is why I rarely do it.  Is it wrong to love both the secular and the Christian aspects of the Christmas Season?  I think not.

We have been blessed with a Secret Santa for the past 12 days.  Do you realize how humbling it is to receive such generous gifts from an anonymous source?????  Yet, I must admit my prayers have been answered. I have been praying for Christ to reveal Himself to me. Lately, I've been in a low place in my faith....part of my highs and lows with Kellyanne. Jesus has been very real to me over the past 12 days. The anticipation, the joy, the hope, the gratitude, the sacrifice....for both the Hagan family as well as the Secret Santa.  Those with a strictly secular mindset might say, it's a person being kind, and that is true. But I go deeper. That kindness is someone being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ, bringing joy and hope and anticipation into our very real, tangible lives.  One night Kellyanne was awake when the doorbell rang.  I said "Let's go see what Santa brought us". She replied in her high pitched excited voice, "SANTA"?  We opened the door and there was the gift. She was excited, but at the same time without question - just acceptance of the gift from Santa.

While most children her age are sleeping fitfully and giddy with excitement, KA goes about her days and nights as usual. She will love being with her grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousins today in Annapolis and with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins tomorrow. She will love going to church and seeing baby Jesus lying in the manger. She will have forgotten about her gifts that she opened just hours before heading off to church because, that's Kellyanne. Life in the moment. And that is her gift to us. Reminding us the it is only the moment that truly matters - that is the gift, no regrets, no expectations, just loving where you are and who you are with right then and there. So thank you Kellyanne for that reminder. Thank you for being used as God's vessel to teach us about life and unconditional love. Somedays I need it more than ever.....most days lately.

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