California-esque

Many years ago, in a previous life, I traveled California from San Francisco to San Simeon. I camped in Big Sur and in Yosemite.  Big Sur, Monterey, Carmel are beautiful places.  The ocean is indescribable and the life is vibrant in my memory.  Yosemite is also beautiful.  Huge enough that you realize how very small you are. But my memory of it is "rocks".  Beautiful rocks, mind you, but rocks, jagged and layered and grey and cold.  I loved both areas, but I loved Big Sur, Monterey and Carmel so much more. Those place felt alive to me, the roaring sea, the artsy restaurants and stores, the seals, the people.  It was colorful both in nature and in culture.  I can close my eyes and return there very easily.

Lately I feel like I've been in Yosemite.  Things have been very "clinical" with regards to Kellyanne and I have been in a cold, grey place.  Jagged and hard.  I don't like that side of me.  I like my vibrant side.  My colorful, zesty, flowing side.  I'm not sure where it went.  I know it's there, I just have to be patient for it to return.

Our visit to Hopkins was brief and to the point.  In a nutshell Kellyanne's EEG is "a mess" and needs to be "cleaned up".  I asked questions, but got very few answers as the Dr. wants to have  the video EEG done and go from there.  The few questions she did answer she was painfully honest!

KA is scheduled to go to Hopkins from  3/12-3/15. We will be on the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit where she will be hooked up with EEG electrodes and videotaped. That's all I know at this point.  They sent a DVD about the EMU that we are to watch before going, but we haven't done that yet.  Maybe that will be our Friday night entertainment : )

Since being seen at Hopkins we have had to add a new medication to her regimen.  Monday was not a good day for her.  We are waiting to see how this new med helps/or doesn't. It's just a waiting game. Now we ask ourselves with regard to her behavior: normal? seizure? medication?  Who knows????????? But it makes me tired.

I don't want to close on a negative note.  Michael is doing well in Providence.  He will be home for Spring Break in 3 weeks!  Eilis turned 15!!!!!!!yesterday and is such a beautiful person.  Erin is becoming more confident in herself and always makes me smile.  Kellyanne loves her new 'book basket' and loves to read to me before bed, and Michael (husband) works endless hours, helps with the house and the  kids and never complains.  I don't know what my problem is......life is good in the Hagan home!